Finding my breath
Aktualisiert: 18. Juni 2018
I remember that day exactly like it was yesterday even though it’s now 24 years ago. The day when I consciously noticed for the first time that I actually didn’t know how to breathe. I did not know how to breathe!? It surely sounds weird and it certainly felt weird because breathing is something we do automatically - without thinking. Even newly borne babies just do it.
But I was out of rhythm and breathing did not just happen automatically. The more I became aware of my breathing, the more insecure I got how long or deep I should breathe in and out. I kept catching myself either holding my breath or breathing very flatly.
That’s when I started embarking on a long journey to find out more about breathing. I consulted many professionals from Chinese Medicine, Reiki, different meditation and massage techniques, Ayurveda and Kinesiology to Buddhism. I also read many books about breathing and health in general. It’s quite interesting that no professional, teacher or book had the answer to my very simple question: How to breathe in everyday life? There are many different technics which all sounded great, but none of them supported me on a day-to-day basis.
That is until I came across Universal Medicine. My therapist used several different healing techniques on me and introduced me to the Gentle Breath Meditation. I was able to breathe deeply, but I was never told to breathe gently before. The first few times I was breathing so loud and hard that my therapist just had to stop the exercise and we started all over again at the next appointment.
I must admit I also completely underestimated the importance of breathing gently. It sounds so simple and easy that the mind likes to dismiss it as too plain or not relevant.
I nevertheless practiced the Gentle Breath Meditation for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening and from there slowly integrated it into my everyday life.
It took me a long time to regain my gentle breath and even longer to introduce it beyond the sessions into my everyday life. It is unbelievable what momentum of disregard and hardness I built up in my body by the way I was breathing. I now know that holding my breath was my way of preventing to feel what was going on around me. I was just overwhelmed by life from a very young age and held my breath in response. Especially I did not allow myself to breathe in fully, but focussed on breathing out.
From Serge Benhayon I know that the in-breath creates the quality we choose to be in. The out-breath magnifies and distributes that chosen quality throughout our body for it to be in all that we will do and say.
That’s why breathing is so incredibly important, yet we generally do not ever stop and check in how we breathe. Breathing in what we don’t want to have in our bodies and what does not belong there can over time result in illness and disease.
Another big stepping stone in my long journey to reclaim my breath was Esoteric Yoga.
I tried different styles of Yoga before and came to the conclusion that Yoga is not for me. The movements I was instructed to make hurt my body more than they helped. But Esoteric Yoga is completely different. There are very little movements involved and it’s all about conscious presence. I learned to feel my body, to listen to my body, to feel how I meet myself with every breath I take, and thus to breathe very consciously, deliberately, gently and deeply not only during the sessions, but also in between the session while going about my daily responsibilities.
I have included markers in my life. Every time I am passing a door frame, I take the opportunity to check where I am and how my breathing is. Am I with me at the door or am I already in my head with the person I am going to meet next or with what I did or did not do that morning?
Feeling me when I breathe is incredibly empowering and enriching. My several symptoms like anxiety, not being able to truly relax or sleep uninterruptedly, not knowing who I am or what I want from life, feeling responsible for everything and putting myself last just melted away. I am very aware that the quality in which I do things matters, the how. I even walk and talk differently, much more me, and it feels just fantastic and really natural.
Gentle breathing is a most simple yet unbelievably powerful tool.